


How to be angry

by barefootmemories



Series: How To... [7]
Category: Running Man RPF
Genre: Angst, I don't know, M/M, No violence though, Romance, anger?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 14:58:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barefootmemories/pseuds/barefootmemories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongkook is angry with the way Gwangsoo handled things, but he gets over it haha</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to be angry

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm sorry it took me so long to get this done but, as I might have mentioned earlier, I have a lot going on. I'm also sorry it's not longer OTL
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it!
> 
> Love

* * *

 

Jongkook glared at the ceiling above his bed furiously, hitting his fist against the mattress in frustration every now and then as his thoughts spun out of control. He had been awake for hours. The initial sadness and regret over what had happened had completely gone and now he was just angry, cursing Gwangsoo and everything about him; his stupidly cute smile, his wonderful laughs and his heated glares.

Because he didn’t _want_ to feel this way. He hadn’t wanted to feel it that morning he woke up beside the younger. Neither had he wanted to acknowledge the tingling in his body those times Gwangsoo gave him one of his rare gentle but mischievous smiles, which only Jongkook – and Jaesuk, he had to admit begrudgingly – knew how to interpret, nor had he wanted to live through the awful nights he spent longing for a fate that was impossible while knowing he would be so much better off just by ignoring everything altogether. He didn’t want to think about his feelings anymore. All it had done was bring him frustration, fear and pain.

And yet, he hadn’t learned how to listen to his brain when he was faced with love and his heart was simply relentless. He knew it would take a long time for him to completely get over Gwangsoo. The other was an amazing person who was easy to like and would do almost anything for the people he considered friends and family – which Jongkook had had the privilege of experiencing many times, the last one being just two nights prior. He could barely believe Gwangsoo would go to such lengths to keep a close friend. Which also meant it would be better for Jongkook to just forget about the younger in order to get over him and stay his friend.

However, it would have been a lot easier, hadn’t Gwangsoo given his stupidly illogical heart a small grain of hope.

Jongkook let out a frustrated groan.

How could he? How could Gwangsoo make light of his feelings like that and still manage to give him some hope, however small it may be? Jongkook could understand the younger still wanted to be friends – he wanted it, too – but it didn’t give Gwangsoo the right to act like that! He wanted something _real,_ something _genuine_. Not something… something… too fool himself! To fool his heart and mind to ease the ache of knowing what he was doing was wrong!

He growled angrily and sat up.

And now he would have to spend an entire day filming with the younger, which he really could do without. Because as much as he loved Gwangsoo, he didn’t feel like seeing him at all at the moment – it would only serve as a reminder of what could never be and what was forever lost. And he was also still angry. He had never expected the other to accept either way so why had Gwangsoo felt the need to make it worse? Jongkook had thought Gwangsoo knew him. Knew how he worked. Although, in his defense, he probably only tried to make it better, which made Jongkook all the more angry. Sometimes it was best to just let things be.

The doorbell rang and Jongkook sighed, getting out of bed heavily to drag his way through his apartment and open the door for his manager – who was smiling way to cheerfully on such a horrible day.

“You better get dressed now, or we’ll be late for Running Man,” he chided brightly, obviously not at all aware of the mood surrounding Jongkook.

He resisted the urge to punch his manager and stepped aside, allowing him to enter. Then he quickly went through his morning routine while letting his manager eat whatever he wanted from the fridge.

They rode the car in silence, his manager finally seeming to notice Jongkook’s foul mood. He didn’t ask about it though, just told him to put on a believable act before dropping him off and driving away. If most of the crew and some of the cast hadn’t been present he most likely would have flipped the other man off. As it was, he only glared at the disappearing car before closing his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile on his face while gathering up the courage to look over at his fellow Running Man members.

To his relief, Gwangsoo wasn’t there yet. Only Jaesuk, HaHa and Jihyo had arrived and were standing off to the side, talking. Jongkook cleared his throat lightly, nodded to a few cameramen and made his way over.

“Ah, Jongkook,” Jaesuk said when he noticed him approaching them. “You’re here.”

He still had that slightly judgmental look in his eyes that had been present ever since Jongkook and Gwangsoo had had that argument which seemed like forever ago. He couldn’t really blame the older, though; everyone loved Gwangsoo and would most probably want to protect him. So he simply gave him a nod and placed himself beside HaHa who gave him a nod of his own, pretending to listen to their conversation while continuously being on the lookout for Gwangsoo.

The younger man arrived to their filming location ten minutes later together with Sukjin. Jongkook felt warm and cold and nervous and angry and happy all at the same time, his hands starting to tremble slightly as Gwangsoo’s eyes zeroed in on him and they stared at each other for a moment. Then Jongkook broke the eye contact, swallowing harshly and looking back at Jaesuk who was saying something he couldn’t quite hear because of the blood rushing in his ears.

How was it that Gwangsoo had this effect on him? This wasn’t normal. It had gone from bad to worse in just two days and Jongkook hadn’t even seen him during that time. Maybe the small kiss he had gotten from the other actually had affected him more than he had thought. Well… it was also nerve-wracking that the younger actually knew his feelings now.

“Good morning!” Gwangsoo greeted as he and Sukjin reached them.

Jongkook stubbornly stared down at his feet even if he could hear the slight hesitation in the younger’s voice, tempting him to look up and see his expression. He did see Gwangsoo’s feet stop in-between Jaesuk’s and Jihyo’s, though.

“Hi, Jongkook-Hyung.”

Jongkook would have liked to say he didn’t jump, but sadly he wasn’t much for lying. He visibly flinched and his eyes snapped up to meet Gwangsoo’s uncertain gaze. The other three looked between them curiously and Jongkook swallowed harshly again, glancing at them while wetting his lips.

Then he felt the initial irritation he’d had earlier that morning return and he frowned before turning on his heel, muttering something about speaking to one of the PDs about his back problems. He could feel the gazes of the others boring into his back but pretended like nothing and busied himself with a completely pointless conversation with the closest PD.

He managed to get through the opening well enough and luckily for him there were no guests that day. Then he hurried over to change his clothes quickly before Gwangsoo could reach out to him.

He was stopped halfway, though. By Jaesuk, no less.

The older man pulled him to the side, giving him an annoyed frown and crossing his arms.

“Jongkook, will you please stop this? First Gwangsoo was mad at you, now you’re mad at him?” Jaesuk said exasperatedly. “What is going on?”

“Jaesuk-Hyung,” Gwangsoo suddenly said behind him and Jongkook jumped again, trying no to curse out loud. “It’s my fault this time.”

Jaesuk gave him a confused look. “Just what are you two doing? Can you for once act like grown up men?”

Jongkook scowled at him, turned on his heel and tried not to stomp away since most of the crew was watching. He distantly heard Gwangsoo mutter an apology before running footsteps followed and the younger caught up to him.

“Hyung,” he breathed. “Please talk to me.”

Jongkook sent him a glare. “So that you can belittle my feelings again? No thank you.”

“Hyung,” Gwangsoo whined and he could see his hand reach out to grab his arm before faltering and falling back to his side in his peripheral vision. “I’m sorry! I just didn’t want you to feel bad! I don’t want you to leave me!”

“Well, it didn’t work,” he muttered, frowning. “Look, just tell me straight out that you don’t feel the same and then let’s move on, okay?”

“Oh,” the other said slowly before getting a guilty expression. “I’m sorry Hyung, but I can’t return your feelings.”

Jongkook felt a little relieved, but also something go empty inside him. He nodded anyway, managing a small genuine smile.

“Thank you.”

Gwangsoo smiled at him and bumped his shoulder with his. “Can we still hang out? I missed you, you know?”

Jongkook really wanted to say no. He knew that right now it would hurt incredibly to be around Gwangsoo. But the hopeful look on the younger’s face made it impossible for him to refuse, so he swallowed harshly and nodded again.

“Thank god!” Gwangsoo said in relief. “I thought I’d lose you forever.”

Jongkook smiled at him fondly despite himself, letting out a small chuckle.

“Well, with the way you keep clinging on I think that would be impossible,” he muttered.

Gwangsoo grinned at him and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back to the other Running Man members with a slight spring in his step. Jongkook kept the smile on his face but he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach, because the skin Gwangsoo was touching was prickling pleasantly, sending small tingles all the way up his arm and neck. It felt nice although it shouldn’t, and Jongkook could barely keep himself from grabbing the other’s hand to intertwine their fingers.

This was exactly why he should have said no earlier.

But, Jongkook was nothing if not self-diciplined. He could, _would_ get through this and stay friends with Gwangsoo, he vowed to himself.


End file.
